Three Months of Yoga

Does three months of regular practice of yoga sound like a lot to you?   In the scheme of all things zen, it actually is not.  Yet I feel good about three months.

 I attend some advanced classes and I do a pretty good job of keeping up at this point.  That's something.  I still say how much easier it will be for me when I shed some of these unwanted pounds.  I was especially thinking that tonight at my class. 

The instructor who is already fairly tough decided to hold each pose longer than usual.  As my arms were burning in plank pose and downward facing dog, I couldn't help but dream of weighing 50 pounds less.

 As I still struggle to keep learning poses and mastering poses, I do not focus as much on breathing, relaxing.  However, I do already see the benefits to this aspect of yoga practice.

Prior to starting my yoga journey, I could never breathe (it seemed).  My breathing has improved.

As I have mentioned before, there is definitely the benefit of less anxiety.  I would like to say that all anxiety has disappeared, maybe someday!

Three months ago, I could not do the tripod pose.  Today I did. 

Three months ago, my hands and wrists hurt for days after my first two classes.

Three months ago, I didn't know a cobra pose from an eagle pose.

Three months ago, I didn't know how much I would love yoga.

Dating When Married

Well, it is official!  We can leave the children alone for a date. 

We left today for a friend of my husband's wedding at 4pm.  We did not return home until 10:00pm.

The children did NOT burn the house down.

The children did NOT call me or text me twenty times wondering when we would be home. 

I think we are ok with maybe dating again/

I think that we will have to figure this thing out because dating has been such a non-priority for the last 15 years. 

This could be a good thing.

Could it be the Tryptophan?

I am feeling LAZY. 

I had high, high hopes of doing yoga today.  My workout routine is a disaster due to vehicle problems.  Getting the gym is a challenge right now and motivation at home is slim. 

But my hopes were high!

I said I WOULD go to the gym!

Yet... 

Here I sit among a mess in my house. 

I don't have any energy.

 

I suppose it could be the lack of sleep the last three nights in a row.

 

or it could be that I was upper early today.

 

Or it could be the tryptophan from the turkey.

 

 

A New Option for Yoga

As I have mentioned, I have been without a vehicle for nearly a month now thanks to a paperwork nightmare that we are trying to straighten out.  The biggest issue has been me getting to the gym for my Yoga classes.  (thankfully, the children are in low activity mode right now)

My husband's work schedule has made it so I can get there occasionally, but not regularly like I need. 

I know so many folks who do their yoga at home always. 

I am just not good at exercising at home. 

I'm just not.

A month or so ago, I downloaded a yoga app, but I found it boring. 

Yesterday I decided to check out youtube.  I found many yoga videos on there.  I started one by that Jillian chick from the Greatest Loser show, but the video wasn't working.  The next in line was one by Denise Austen.  Although I am not a big fan of her, I decided to try it. 

It was a 30 minute class that was fairly basic.  It went much more quickly than if I were trying to do it at home without a class.  It wasn't great, but it was something which was more than I was getting. 

So that is my plan.  From now on, I will try to do videos at home if I cannot get to the gym (which at this rate, who knows when I can drive my van again.)

Here's the youtube video that I watched. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daoU86HqYPg

Blogger Tag: I'm It

Well, already I do not know if I can actually tag anyone.  So my plan is to share this with my blogging momma friend mommykerrie maybe via email.  Here's her blog by the way:  http://www.thekerrieshow.com/

Here are the 25 questions for blogger tag. 

1.  Where were your born?  Well, I'm going to plead the fifth on this one because sometimes that's a security question on things.  So I'll just say that I was born on the planet earth.  K?

2.  Were you named after someone?  Nope.  no awesome story to go along with my name darn it.

3.  if you have question, how many do you have?   I'm the mother to five beautiful children.  My oldest child died two years ago though.  So I have to struggle through life without his precious self in my day.

4.  how many pets do you have?  We currently are on the low end of pets with only two cats and a dog.  The dog is huge though and is the equivalent of a grown man or four dogs.  Anyone want a new dog?

5.  what was your worst injury?   well, this may be speaking physical, but the worst injury I have ever sustained is losing my son.  my heart is broken and will never mend.

6.  Do you have a special talent?  eh, not sure.  I am a pretty good cook.  I decorate my children's birthday cakes and they look fun.  And I sometimes take some awesome photographs. 

7.  What's your favorite thing to bake?  well, this is tough.  I love a delicious baked pasta dish like lasagna or cannelloni.  I also love freshly baked bread.  Then of course, there are cookies.

8.  What's your favorite fast food?    I'll have to say Schlotzsky's.  I love those sandwiches.

9.  Would you bungee jump?  Um, nope.  I don't know if I would have back in my youthful days or not, but definitely not now. 

10.  what is the first thing you notice about people?  I guess just how friendly they are.

11.  When was the last time you cried?  Yesterday.  I tend to cry at least once a day since losing my son.

12.  Are you worried about anything currently?    Finances.  Just received notice that a monthly bill is going up by $300 a month.  That is about all extra we have.  I don't know how we will afford anything, ANYTHING, extra now.  and by extra I mean children's activities, homeschool books, hair cuts, clothes....

13.  What are three drinks you drink regularly?  1.  water (I LOVE water!)  2.  coffee (can't start my day without it)  and 3.  wine (not every night, but many nights)

14.  what is your favorite book?  I hate limiting this to just one, but if I must, I will say Les Miserables. 

15.  would you like to be a pirate?  only if it were in a movie

16.  favorite smells?   fresh basil and coffee

17. why do you blog?  I like to write.  I like to talk.  and I hope to eventually write a book.  this is good practice. 

18.  Do you have a song you want played at your funeral?  I used to say Dancing Queen by Abba.  I'm not sure anymore. 

19.  what is your least favorite thing about yourself?  my weight and my lack of willpower and my tendency to be lazy

20.  favorite hobby?  writing, photography, and knitting

21.  what qualities do you look for in a friend?  trustworthy, kind, fun

22.  name something you have done that you never thought you would do:  be a stay at home mom.  I was a career gal and loved it.  I had no plans to stay at home.  funny how things change.

23.  favorite things to do?  write, watch movies, read, drink coffee, yoga

24.  pet peeves?  women who gossip, dishonesty, drama

25.  what is the last thing that made you laugh?  i'm sure it was my children today sometime, but my mind is blank. 

Comparing Yoga Styles, A Newbie's Perspective

I'm no expert at Yoga.  I simply know that I enjoy it. 

I have been practicing for nearly three months now which is nothing in the long journey of life. 

My yoga practice takes place at three different YMCA locations which I live in close proximity, as well as occasionally at home.   When I first decided to give it a try, I simply looked up the yoga schedules at my gyms and went from there.  I did look at the websites of a few different local yoga studios and felt slightly overwhelmed when reading the different descriptions of the classes.  I had no idea there was a difference.  I thought that yoga was yoga.  Period. 

After three months, I can tell you a few things I have learned and what I prefer. 

First of all, I recently learned what Bikram yoga is.  I have absolutely ZERO desire to try this.  Do you know why?  Bikram yoga practices in the poses and postures in a studio where the temperature is set to a very high temperature, approximately 105 degrees F.  Seriously!  Who does this?  I hate the heat.  So this does not sound appealing to me. 

Two other styles of yoga are Hatha and Vinyasa, both of which I have now practiced. 

Reading up on the styles, Hatha is explained as a slower, gentler flow of poses and postures.  It is often recommended for beginners. 

Vinyasa moves through the poses a little more quickly.  You will do more poses and hold them for less time. 

I prefer the Vinyasa which is funny because most things I have read states that Vinyasa is best for advanced students.  I find the Vinyasa easier when it is a difficult pose because I don't have to hold the pose as long.  I suppose in all honesty, I should be doing the slower and perfecting those poses.  However, I think for me, a big reason some poses are difficult is that I am overweight.  (will work on that after the holidays!)  So holding some poses just gets so hard.  My arms get so achy! 

As I have said before yoga will be so much easier for me when I am skinny. 

One of these days when I feel a little more skilled, I would like to take classes at an actual yoga studio.  I'd love to see what it is like in that environment. 

For now, I'll enjoy my YMCA!

Give Me Strength, Flexibility, and a Little Zen

Another day at home without a vehicle. 

This is getting quite old to say the least. 

I love being home.  I love the days we have no activities, but I need to go places!  I need to go grocery shopping, to the bank, to the gym!

I NEED YOGA!

Here shortly, I plan to do some poses here at home.  As I have written before, it is never the same.  I often feel bored and distracted at home.  The time passes quite slowly. 

I shall do it!  I shall!

I'll do some salutations (rex style), some chair, tree, and warrior poses.  There's a pose that I do not know the name of that I shall do.  I shall stretch, stretch, and stretch some more. 

And my achy, tight, sore, inflexible body will thank me for it!

Some Much Needed Yoga!

Vehicle restrictions have made trips to the gym impossible this week.  I had high hopes of doing yoga at home, but it just didn't happen.  Tuesday morning was my last time to make it to Yoga class. 

Finally, today, my dear friend Mary drove me to one of my favorite classes.  The male instructor is probably in his sixties.  He wears his long hair in a ponytail and his clothes definitely make me think "hippie."  His classes are tough, but not too tough.  (sheepish grin) I sort of tricked my friend into the class by not telling her it was "advanced."  But seriously, I did his advanced class for my second class ever and was able to keep up. 

That's the great thing about yoga is that you can do as much as you can do.  If something is difficult, then change the pose. 

My body felt so incredibly tight today as though I had lost all flexibility in the short five days since my last class. 

Oh I do hope to some day be doing yoga every single day.  I do hope to get motivated enough to do it at home on the days that I cannot make it to the gym because often it is just too hard to get to the gym. 

I have done it at home a few times.  It's never the same. 

But yoga makes me feel good!  I feel both physically and mentally better when I am doing it!  The time spent in that class is so beneficial.  It helps my anxiety, it helps my mood. 

Now, back to the whole stuck at home without a car thing.  I'm hoping to go Tuesday evening after my husband returns from work if he gets home in time.  That's the question:  will he?

'Twas the Day Before Nothing...

Just a quick little poem that I felt like writing as I watch my children play and spend a lazy morning at home. 

 

'Twas the day before nothing, when all through the house

There were no plans or activities, except for my poor working spouse

Three children were playing an entertaining game

It's one of our favorites, Quirkle is the name

 As they sat on the floor telling the littlest what was right and wrong
They all were humming and singing a popular song
As "Let it Go!" sounded to my happy ears
I felt content for the moment watching my dears

 The kids were in shorts on this chilly fall day
I sat on the sofa still wearing my pj's
A day full of nothing is such a rare jewel
Though I may be missing mass made me feel like a fool

 The relaxing will have to cease at some point today
As we begin to clean and put the fall decorations away
For it is time to bring the boxes up the stairs
So the Christmas decorations can be placed everywhere

For now I will enjoy this moment of nothingness
For time like this is fleeting, most days are filled with stress
Thus this day before nothing will be happy, a ball
And I wish a very happy nothing Sunday to you all!

A Messy House Means You Aren't a Good Parent?

I think my children are pretty happy.  They are provided for by me and my husband. They are educated.  They are taught right from wrong.  They are loved.

 But sometimes my house is a mess.  Sometimes a big mess.  There are often dishes piled in the sink, clutter on the floor, unfinished laundry scattered in various rooms. 

 And it scares me to read an article like I did yesterday about a homeschooling family in my neck of the woods who was in trouble with child protective services because someone called in "a messy house."  When the family turned away a CPS agent, they sent a swat team who proceeded to raid their home.  The parents were even hit with tasers! 

 The children were temporarily removed from the home.  However, when this reached a judge, the judge threw out the case and gave the children back to their parents. 

This scares the hell out of me.  Seriously.  If someone came to my house today, my house is fairly clean.  However, if someone randomly showed up at my house a few days ago, it would not have been.

When I talk to other moms about the subject of the state of our homes, they are mostly in agreement with me.  Sometimes their house is clean, sometimes it isn't.  And on really bad weeks, it can be a disaster.  Throw a sick kid into the mix or a week of crazy schedules and who knows what the house will look like.   The week of Halloween I was so busy (doing things for my children) and so exhausted that my house was a disaster all week. 

How does that make you a bad parent?  How does that give the government the right to take away a child?  Is a child unloved just because there are cheerios on the floor?  Is a child abused because the sink is full of dirty dishes? 

This reminds me of the time a child was removed because he was overweight.  WAs that child unloved?

I think that there are times a child should be removed from a home (physical abuse, neglect).  I just think a messy house is pushing it too far. 

The thing is, for me, I have always struggled with the housekeeping thing.  It doesn't come naturally for me.  However, I do try.  I do attempt to pick up after my children.  I do try to keep up with that continuous stream of laundry.  I do try to clean the kitchen after the many meals I prepare.  And I also try to teach my children to do the same, but we aren't great at it. 

Does that make me a bad parent? 

I'm already a mom that knows my weaknesses, my failures.  I am already a mom who wishes I could improve in so many ways. 

But I love my children.  I would do anything for them.  I would give my own life for them. 

I'm not a good housekeeper though. 

The Good Stuff Does NOT Include Health Insurance

The world of medical bills is unbelievable.  '

 

When I was a child or even a college student, health insurance was something you could depend upon.

 

 My parents often had to worry about finances.  My dad was a farmer in the 1980's.  Money was often tight. 

Yet, through my father's employer, we had excellent health coverage.  My parents could go to the doctor or send us to the doctor if something was wrong. No financial worries.  It was covered.

Then there is life in the year 2014 and the medical world, health insurance stuff, it all sucks. 

 

First of all, my husband's company provides insurance that is not actually insurance.  we pay in monthly, but guess what we can do?  we can go to a well visit once a year.  THAT IS IT.  i'm not sure why we are even paying.  If I am sick, I cannot go to the doctor.  PERIOD. 

WE currently have medical bills out the ying yang.

 

my children have good coverage that we pay a monthly premium into the state.  we received a letter today that our monthly bill is going up by nearly $300 .  Yes, $300 per month. 

 

just in time for Christmas. 

 

Makes me want to say the F word. 

The Relationship between Yoga and Anxiety

A year ago I was having debilitating anxiety attacks.  I seriously felt like I was having a nervous breakdown.  I couldn't function.  I cried multiple times daily because I felt so messed up.  Of course, aggravating my anxiety was my grief over losing my son.  It was my first year without him which meant my first fall, my first Halloween, my first Thanksgiving, my first birthday, my first Christmas.  And all of that was Hell. 

Because of my overwhelming anxiety, I turned to prescription medication.  It helped.  I managed to survive the holidays.  However, my brain and body felt like it was in a fog.  I felt like a zombie.  Sure, this was better than the mess I was before, but I didn't like it.  I didn't like that I never cried even when I felt like crying. 

So eventually, I stopped the anxiety pills. 

I had been exercising which helped.  Though during that time of my near nervous breakdown, I did stop going to the gym.  It was winter.  I was lazy.   Early spring came and I finally made it back to the gym.  Thankfully, I have been going ever since. 

Back-peddling here:  I suffered anxiety about five years prior as well.  I found that simply adding exercise to my life helped.  Of course, I wasn't dealing with the loss of a child at that point in time.  So the anxiety wasn't quite as overwhelming to handle. 

Back to now:  Exercise was helping.  However, I was still feeling some anxiety here and there.  (I think I will always feel some anxiety here and there because of the trauma I have faced.)  After a recent anxiety attack, I decided to try yoga.  I had wanted to try yoga for years.  So I tried it.  I started doing yoga regularly over two months ago.  I still haven't reached my goal of doing it daily, but I try.  I would say I am doing it four days a week now, though I am aiming for five.  I have one day that seems nearly impossible due to my busy schedule.  I will know I have achieved yoga greatness (ha) when I start squeezing it into that busy day. 

Since starting yoga, I have not had any anxiety.  None. 

 Coincidence? 

I don't know.  I just know that Yoga makes me feel the best I have felt in awhile. 

My Yoga Morning Could Have Been Better

There was a lack of sleep last night, perhaps that was part of it.  I awoke with the temptation to skip yoga.  I wasn't planning to skip it altogether.  I thought I'd go to a later class.  I believe there is an evening class on Tuesdays.  Yet, I realized that I may as well get out of bed because I was awake. 

I have come to realize that I am more off-balance at the early morning classes than I am later.  I couldn't hold a pose for the life for me today.  I wiggled, I wobbled, I wibbled, I woggled. 

The instructor did something I am not a huge fan of:  she held the poses for longer and did less.  I forget what that style is called, maybe Hatha.  I know I prefer the Vinyasa Flow yoga where the poses are held for less time.  My biggest problem with the longer held poses is that sometimes I have a pose that is especially tough for me.  If it is tough and I have a hard time holding it period, then the fifteen seconds of it will feel wasted to me. 

The instructor had some serious expectations for the strength of my arms today that is JUST NOT THERE. 

I wish I would start losing weight.  Yoga would be so much easier if I weighed forty pounds less.

Batman Cake for my Son (He is Batman by the way)

Talk about your rich, decadent, delicious cake. 

 

Moist chocolate with homemade raspberry whipped

 

cream, topped with a dark chocolate ganache glaze.

 

 

I decided to stage the cake on a black tablecloth with a chalk sketch of a city skyline. 

simple, but yum and fun

He said it was a really good birthday, so I'm happy about it. 

 Here are two posts I wrote on my other blog:

http://www.bubblews.com/news/9377081-why-i-decided-that-this-cake-must-be-fabulous

http://www.bubblews.com/news/9376881-batman-cake-with-a-gotham-tablecloth

Happy Birthday to my 2nd Born

I think you were stubborn from the get go, from the time you entered the womb.

When you were supposed to be head down, preparing for birth, you remained firmly with that head pointed upward.  You liked it where you were.   So we went to the doctor and they manually shifted that body for you.  (ouch for me!)

You remained stubborn.  Your due date came and went as I patiently waited to meet you. 

Finally, nearly two weeks later, my body decided it was time to kick you out of your cozy home.  Labor began.  You, however, remained stubborn.  Hour after hour passed.  Pain after pain came.  The doctor didn't feel optimistic about the way labor was progressing. 

We finally gave up.  It was time for you to come out into the world.  So a C-section it was. 

Stubborn or not, you were beautiful. 

You still are.

Happy Birthday Liam. 

I love you.

Yoga Thoughts for Today

We are still down to one vehicle which hinders my ability to travel!  No driving means no yoga.  Well, it means no yoga classes.  I can still do yoga at home.  I just am not that good at doing it at home. 

Especially on a day like today where I am feeling lazy and tired. 

I did it though.  I am wearing very uncomfortable pants though which inspired this post:

http://www.bubblews.com/news/9362137-a-yoga-journey-comfy-clothes-are-a-must

It's sad when my comfy workout pants have become so tight that they are no longer comfortable. 

I really need to start dieting.  It's depressing me. 

That's not good stuff.

Yoga: Hope for the Newbie

Yesterday, my friend posted a photograph of herself in a difficult Yoga pose.  She was in a sort of back bend with one leg kicked upward.  I was impressed!  When I ran into her today, I asked her if she had always been that flexible and how long she had been practicing yoga.

Her response to the first inquiry was no, she has not always been that flexible.  Yay!  There is hope for me!

Her next answer was that she has been practicing yoga for two years. 

The other thing that gave me hope is that she has been doing it at home using a simple app on her own for all of those two years.  She has gained that much strength and flexibility by simply following an app. 

I'm having a rough week due to vehicle things.  Getting to my Yoga classes is going to be pretty much impossible.  So I will do it at home.  And I am going to learn to not make excuses anymore.  If I am home, I can squeeze in at least thirty minutes of Yoga. 

She seriously motivated me!

Photo credit:  my own

Yoga and Anxiety

I have been attracted to the thought of Yoga for quite awhile.  In fact, I tried a class probably ten years ago that was a pilates-yoga combination class at my then-current gym.  I wasn't impressed at the time.  It was probably too large a venue for a newbie like me.  I didn't try again. 

Then anxiety arrived in my life.  Initially, I seemed to manage it.  It went away.  Then my son died.  Anxiety returned in full force.  It became overwhelming.  I turned to prescription anxiety meds for help.  It helped me through those rough first holidays last year.  What I found, though, was that prescription medicine made me feel like a zombie.  I seriously had no emotion.  I didn't cry for months.  And I am a crier.  I went through my first Christmas without my son and I didn't cry.  Sure, I didn't want to be a basket case, but I wanted to feel my real emotions. 

So shortly after the holidays, I said bye bye to the prescription medicines. 

Exercise has always helped with my anxiety.  So I was trying to keep up with that as well.  As I started to feel a slight upturn in anxiety again, I decided to find a yoga class.  I belong to the YMCA which offers yoga classes.  So I had to find schedules that worked with me.  I did so.

Now it is over two months since I started and I can say that my anxiety has seemed under control.  I feel like I leave yoga class relaxed.  I can breathe easier, literally. 

I hated the idea of being tied to medications to function day to day.  I'm so glad I ditched them and found a more natural way to handle my stress.

The Yoga Chronicles 11/7/14

Sadly, today was a day without yoga.  I probably snuck in ten poses.  Maybe a total of five minutes or ten.  Tomorrow I shall definitely do it at home due to lack of transportation to the gym.  My plan is to do it immediately after finishing my coffee and breakfast (first htings first!  priorities!)

Sometimes I just wish I had more time to my day.  No, not sometimes.  All the time!  By the time I do what moms do, the day is gone.  And I don't even do close to what moms should do (i.e. clean house?).   I would love to do Yoga EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I would love to sneak in some cardio each day too... swimming?  elliptical?

http://www.bubblews.com/news/9327052-a-yoga-journey-none-nada-zip

Homeschooling, Winning the Lottery, and Avoiding Work

It is just after 1:00pm in my quiet household.  As I just informed the children that it was time to return to our school work, I had to hear the usual sighs, complaints, groans.  They act like they have it so rough, my kids.  They truly think they do which gets a little old.

So my daughter (true to form) started talking about something distracting.  Today's topic of choice:  what would you do if we won 2 billion dollars in the lottery?  I gave her a brief answer.  Of course, she wanted to hold a long conversation.  And yes, I had to stop the conversation because have been extremely unproductive today.

Homeschool can be quite difficult some days, let me tell you!

Yoga would be easier if I were Skinny!

The practice of Yoga is so beneficial to me.  I can tell that after merely two months of doing it.  If only I could lose weight too, I can only imagine how much easier some of the poses would be. 

Example: 

Downward facing dog and plank poses put much of your weight on your arms and shoulders.  Boy, this is tough when you are overweight!  If I weighed fifty pounds less, my arms would be saying "this is a piece of cake." 

Another example:

many poses that require reaching or twisting seem to end up with my boobs in the way!  if they would shrink just a little, I think that could be much easier as well.

Regardless, I'm doing yoga and loving it.

Here's a post I wrote on my other site about Yoga today. 
http://www.bubblews.com/news/9274499-a-yoga-journey-after-a-break

Photo Credit:  my own