Do You Hold a Grudge?

I was thinking today about holding grudges.  I'll admit that sometimes I do.   It's never for anything minor, only the major infractions.    In fact, I can only think of two particular people with whom I still hold grudges. 

One was a college roommate who was stealing from me.  The theft itself was bothersome, but there was more about the way she treated me when she knew I was onto her. Her attitude was one of condescension and snottiness. Oh and then I remember once a year or so after college I was waitressing.  She came into the restaurant and I had to serve her.  And she didn't tip me!  Oh I was beside myself.  First she steals from me, then that?    I just can't get over all of that.  I definitely feel a grudge toward her.

The other is more complicated.  It's family related.   And it's ridiculous.  I'm not going to air that grievance in public, but I must say that this person was totally in the wrong, immature, and mean.  And I can't help it.  I have a grudge.  The bad thing is I will be forced to spend time with this person again soon.  I'm not sure how I will handle that.  I haven't seen him since it transpired over a year ago.

I don't hold grudges for small things.  Life is life and no one is perfect.  Friends will sometimes say the wrong things.  People make mistakes.  We all make bad choices sometimes.  And even on the big things, if someone apologizes, I will forgive them.  That's the thing with the two big things I wrote about above.  I have never and will never receive apologies from them.  If they apologized, I would let it go. 

Do you hold grudges?