Friendship

As I get older, I find it much more difficult to make friends. Growing up, I was always a happy-go-lucky, social being with friends galore. When I was in collge, I made friends. When I had a career, I made friends. Even during the early years of staying home with my kids, I made friends through playgroups, mom groups, etc. It's become increasingly difficult to forge that true bond since becoming not only a stay-at-home mom, but also a homeschooling mom.
How do I find that special someone? I often feel like a girl does on a first date with a boy when I meet someone whom I think has potential as a friend. "Will she call me?" "Does she like my kids?" "Did I talk too much?".... How do I find someone who not only shares my interests and values, but also has kids around the same ages as my own?
Don't get me wrong, I have many acquaintances. I am involved in various activities where I, and the kids, get to see people. But I want that friend who I feel like I can just drop in on at any time. I want that friend who can drop in on my house (usually in a state of chaos) and I won't feel embarrassed. My mom had a friend like that, Dixie. I always think to myself "I need my own Dixie."
I was very thankful about a year ago to reconnect with my old college roommate, Jami. We lost track of each other after college for various reasons. We had a sort of falling out, then I moved to Chicago before it could be completely patched up. We kind of made up, but then just lost touch. So when the age of Facebook came around, I was on there trying to find her. Finally found her & we agreed to meet for lunch. I honestly wasn't sure how it would pan out. It had been probably 11 years or so since I had seen her. She's a career gal, I'm not anymore. I figured it would be at least nice to think of her as a friend again, even if we no longer "clicked". So we finally had lunch which started with a big hug & tears from us both, good start. I knew it meant as much to her as it did to me. And then we sat and talked while eating our beloved Mexican food for a couple of hours. It was great to say that we did still click and it was a friendship worth rebuilding. Due to our busy and different lives, we are only able to see each other maybe once a month or once every two months. Wish we'd do it more, but it's still always a treat to see her. And I am thankful to have her back in my life.
Another friendship I am so thankful for is Nancy. She's been in my life for over 20 years, which seems amazing to think it's been that long. We talk via email daily and I know I can tell her absolutely anything. Only problem with that wonderful friendship is that she lives in Alaska. We get to see each other, at most, once a year for a few hours. Alaska or not, I could not imagine my life without her.
Sometimes I just feel like I am really missing something though. That fellow homeschool mom who has kids around the same age as my own that I see at least once a week for just the heck of it. Perhaps I am slightly melancholy today because a friend whose kids are my kids very best friends just put her kids in school. I'm a little sad. My kids are a little sad. So this is probably not the most upbeat blog ever.....